My ‘bullying stories’ from secondary school are so many and so traumatic unfortunately. Fortunately for me not as traumatic as other children that end up in killing themselves. (This is so sad)
A day in my secondary school was as follow:
I arrived at my class as early as possible, sometimes at 7 o’clock just to make sure that I wouldn’t find any ‘surprises’. And by ‘surprises’ I am referring to drawing-pins on my chair, the words ’Fag’, blowjob or my name in a female version, or drawings of dicks all over my desk.
I seat on my desk quite and lonely just observing an empty class and preparing myself for another ‘bullying day’.
During the first period the boys will start throwing staff at me, or spiting at me, sometimes I could found pubic hair inside my pencil case. Sometimes my school back will even go missing with all my books and they will throw it outside of the window during the class time. Sometimes they could cut some of my hair with a scissor. The lovely teacher wouldn’t notice anything at all!
During the first break ’15 minutes’, I would take my sandwich and go and seat on a bench all alone outside of my class and try to have a ‘break’ from the next ‘bullying attract’. I was feeling so different and lonely. Inside my head i am hearing the voice of the priest that my lovely school brought to us to make a confession of our sins. I do remember when I told him all the thoughts that I was having inside my head and I clearly remember what he told me. I would go to hell if I do not stop having this thoughts. Since then I was feeling so sick about myself, I felt like I had the evil inside me and that all the ‘bullying’ it was a way of God to punish me. So I decide to do nothing and suffer the punishment!
The ringing of the school bell will drug me back to the reality of ‘bullying’. I need to find the courage to go back to my class. When I return to the class, my school back will go missing. I would find all my books thrown inside the big black bin outside in the school yard. I would go and take out of the bin and all my books will be dirty and smelly. I am so upset and i hate myself, ‘it’s my punishment for this sick thoughts’!
The third period will be another long suffering of 45 minutes. At this stage I need to tell you that I was a very good student and my focus was only my books, since I was so confused with my sexuality. So many times I would know the answer or I could go up in the black board and solve that mathematic equation but I wouldn’t dare to raise my hand, because then i will suffer even more. I remember for a year i used to have this homophobic math teacher that sometimes will accidentally pronounce my name ‘ on it’s female version!’ That will make again the whole class start laughing at me. The specific teacher will even mark my tests on an unfair way. Even though I had all A’s and few B’s in maths for some unexplained reason I end up with a C.
I will share more of my 'bullying stories' if you interest to know let me know.
Bullying stories (school, work, army,family)